Birthday party

I’m so behind on blogging! I have had some health issues and haven’t felt like posting. I’ve been focused on healing since I only have a few weeks left before my Japan trip and I really need to be able to walk. Anyways onto happier things! 

I wanted to share photos from my birthday party. I haven’t had a birthday party with friends in yearssssss but now that we have a house and space to host people I really wanted to!

 (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

I went to the craft store and found these tropical decorations! I also had tropical plates and napkins. 

Furry party guest 

I told everyone to use the umbrella straws and Bryan put one in his water bottle Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

Watching the party  (⊙︿⊙✿)

Right after my friend gave me presents she made for me, hats for my long furbys ♥╣[-_-]╠♥ so many of my friends brought me thoughtful presents 

Outfit pics ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

Life posting April 20

 

This is a venting post again because life is kicking my ASS, just as a warning if that’s not your thing. 

I did at least get my extension refreshed recently which was good. I like when she blows out my hair since I never like straightening it at home. And my birthday party was good as well. I’m just struggling so much with my pain and feeling like I am so behind in my career. 

When I look back, this career path was always supposed to be temporary, and now I’m 6 years in… and I’m really unhappy  

I had to leave work early because I was so exhausted and sick I felt almost drunk. It’s been kicking my ass lately like I said. My manager is suddenly very critical of me, and I know I’m not the star worker, but I’m trying… I’m really trying… it’s so hard for me to focus when my job is so repetitive. I’m not cut out for a repetitive job like this but I am stuck, it’s all anyone will hire me for. I try so hard. But concentrating feels like I’m beating my brain with rocks. It’s not that I’m not grateful to have my job, but it’s just knowing even when I try very hard I will never advance because of the way my brain is wired… it sucks. I feel guilty for having to leave work early but there wasn’t anything I could do about feeling sick… and I’m so worried for my meeting with my manager tomorrow because last week went so poorly I cried in the bathroom stall. 

Please no advise on this next part, it might be unrealistic but it just brought my mood down… 

I’ve been taking an interior design course to try to get into a different job and today our first project was due. It’s an online class where you don’t talk or anything. I knew my grade was 100%, so when I saw the guest speaker pull it up as an example I thought it was because it was good… but I felt more like she was using it as a bad example. she said things like “ this person didn’t understand the prompt they were designing for…” and the furniture is wrong… but never gave me suggestions for what what is “right” for the space, and the prompt was just “cat cafe”, no other adjectives or information. And my whole name was even on the project displayed to this whole class. I know I am here to learn but I don’t like this teaching style of criticizing with no suggested fix. Especially when I was already having a terrible day, I am in pain and exhausted. I was hoping I could at least be good at school since I know I am the worst performer at work, I would at least have one thing to feel good about and feel like I was working towards a better future. I don’t expect to just be praised but I want to at least receive criticism with some suggestion for improving so that I can at least try it again on my own and learn something from it. I don’t know how to improve from just “I don’t like this idea”. 

Plus I think no one likes the feeling of being bad at everything, and that’s how I feel right now. I’m bad at work, I’m bad at exercising, now I feel like I’m bad at school which is something I used to be good at. I just want to feel good at something again.

Sometimes I think yeah! Great! I’m bad at everything, who cares, just exist! But that’s a really hard mindset to maintain .

That’s all, rant over.  

Preparing for my birthday party

 

Bored waiting for my toenail polish to dry. We’re setting up for my birthday party! 

Birthday dinner (~˘▾˘)~

 Today we went out with my in laws for my birthday! We went to a korean bbq place that opened several months ago. I was really excited because I haven't been there before!

Outfit!! 

Top: victoria's secret 

Skirt: Marshall's 

Bracelets: Hollister 

Necklace: American Eagle 

There was so much food, this wasn't even all of it. Everything was really good! I actually really liked the edamame, I never use to in the past. I also had a lychee drink that was just lychee syrup and sparkling water, so basically like lychee pop! 

When I came home I saw that my columbine flower is blooming! These are native to my area, like all of the flowers I have in my garden. They didn't bloom last year but they are perennials, and they grew up super quickly and super large this year. 

Wonderful birthday presents from my in laws (◕‿◕✿)

This water bottle is sparkly, I exercise a lot and I wanted a bottle with a straw that wouldn't leak. I hate fussing with lids during class. 

Roxy bag! Inspired by some old school looks I saw with mini backpacks. I love natural bags like this. 

This was a surprise!! :D It has so many cute lip glosses in it that I'm excited to try. There is also a really pretty smelling body lotion as well! These are the two categories I like trying most since my lips and body (and brows but i usually always do the same thing to them) aren't sensitive like my face/eyes are, so I don't have to worry about ingredients. The only thing I can't use is the setting spray, but I will pass it along to a friend. 

Easter

Yesterday we took a day trip to see my family to celebrate Easter! We celebrate a day early with my family so we have time to see everyone. 

It was around 80F yesterday so I got to wear summer clothes (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

We went to the art museum! I love their art museum, it's so much larger than the one at home. 

 

We went primarily for the Chinese paintings they had on display, the theme was flowers and birds. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

The restaurant we went to after had beignets! my favorite (✿ ♥‿♥) I also had ratatouille but it wasn't as photogenic. 

Do you celebrate Easter? What did you do? I love hearing how other people celebrate holidays. 

New nail and make

 I got my nails done today!! 

Just glitter neon yellow today since I’m getting them done again in two weeks for my birthday. 

New make! I went with a lighter base, my acne scars are showing but I’m still pretty ✨ I tried some different things but my skin is on the oily side nowadays and my pores just get clogged to easily. I might eventually go back to my powder foundation but tbh I haven’t been liking it recently and everything else I tried I had to return because it made me break out, so I decided it wasn’t worth it. Hopefully my remaining acne caused by all this will clear in time for my birthday.  

I finally remembered how I used to do eyeliner and I like how this came out. I’ve hated my makeup every other day this week so I’m really happy about that. I’ve been trying to be more in tune with my own preferences for how makeup looks instead of chaining myself to a tutorial. I was inspired by Ran from Egg who always wears bright orange blush. I told my husband my life changed the day I realized pink blush looks horrible on me xD orange blush forever. 

Mall gets

Hello! It's been a while since I've posted. I've been running around so busy trying to take care of myself, and then dealing with a chronic pain flare. Yesterday my sister and I went to the mall! I told myself I was only gonna return stuff... but I ended up getting a lot of stuff I had seen shopping online that was much cuter in person. 

I was left unattended in Sephora waiting for my sister xD I haven't really been happy with how my makeup is turning out recently. I bought the highlight primarily to use under my eyes, and the other thing is just a tinted pressed powder. I use high end mostly now because Dior specifically has been kinder to my skin and eyes. I've been thinking about using a lighter base, I'll have to wait a bit to try this though since i'm still trying to narrow down what it is that's making me break out. Hopefully it isn't my new concealer since I've already had to return one, but I unfortunately have a feeling it is that since I removed all other new products and still got a clogged pore today. ugh. That would be the only time Dior has let me down. I think my skin may just not like any thicker liquid products. It sucks because i originally got concealer so I could wear lighter layers of my powder foundation and now it's given me more spots than I started with. 

Hollister was so good to me. My sister said the capris were ugly but I kinda liked the vibe, it reminded me a little of amekaji. 

Kitty :) 

A lot of my workout clothes are too big now so I got this set at Pink. They also had a sale on body care, and I really wanted to buy the watermelon body glitter gel. I feel like now that these trends are coming back I can finally look how I always thought I would look like as an adult when I was little. 

Kinda hard to tell in these photos but I found really cute accessories at American Eagle, the second thing is a belt with hibiscuses on it (✿ ♥‿♥) 

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿

I get my nails done on Friday and I can't decide if I wanna do easter peeps nails or if i wanna do something more general since easter is already on Sunday?? I'm already back on my bright obnoxious colors now that it's a little warmer out! 

I also still need to post about my new makeup routine once I find a way of doing makeup that I like. The eye doctor said that wearing all the heavy shimmers/metallics like I was doing increases my risk of getting another stye and it was so uncomfy and lasted so long that I got really freaked out about continuing to wear those shadows. The ones I have are really hard to wash off completely, there were always shimmers all over my face afterwards no matter how many times i rinsed and used remover. I think my look kinda depended on that really intense shimmer/glitter and now nothing I do looks right to me. I have a matte blue and a palette of satin nudes now but I haven't been able to make a look I really enjoy, something is just off without the shimmers. I feel like it makes my whole look unbalanced, without the shimmers I don't like how the rest of my face looks? That probably sounds crazy but what can I say, I know what I like xD That's why I was experimenting with different base make types, but now my skin is breaking out. I might go back to the products I used to use a year ago just with that Dior powder on top. It didn't have as much coverage, but hopefully my current spots will start fading soon anyways? My skin has gotten a lot less red even since last year I think, it's just a few red/dark spots from acne and I rarely have an active spot anymore unless I use a product that it doesn't like. Such a curse to love makeup but break out so easily o(╥﹏╥)o

New nail + this weeks outfits

The last few weeks have absolutely kicked my ass, I can't catch a break between physical and mental health issues. I haven’t been able to wear makeup for the past two weeks because I got a stye o(╥﹏╥)o I think it was from that eyeshadow that was probably 4 years old. So this week I was just focusing on wearing cute outfits. I also got my nails done!!

Luna :3 

I was sort of amekaji inspired this week. I've been exploring outfits that are more accommodating of my sensory issues. 

lol at luna sniffing my pajamas in the back

I just got this sweater on clearance at american eagle a few weeks ago because it reminded me of the kinds of sweaters amekaji gals would wear!! 

✿✼:*:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

Do you like seeing makeup hauls? I spent a kind of embarrassing amount on makeup because all of my stuff ran out or expired at the same time -_- and I had to toss some stuff due to the stye so I didn't reinfect myself. I'm really excited about everything but I'm always kind of worried it comes off as weird for me to post when I buy something really expensive. I also bought new workout clothes since I lost a few inches since I started exercising in the fall, I might want to post those too?? Going to barre is such a significant part of my life now, I started going to manage chronic pain and it's really helped.   

✿✼:*:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

I'm hoping for a better week this week. I can finally wear makeup again, the weather is slowly getting warmer and I think everything will settle into a routine soon. The change of the season is always difficult, but I'm looking forward to more sunshine and warmth ~