10/15 day in

 Today I’m staying in other than my acupuncture appointment but I decided to try recreate a makeup look I did a year or two ago!!

Original pic!

I also changed my outfit to wear this cute alba sweater ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

New hair ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

 I got my hair cut a few days ago!! I’ve been thinking about cutting it short for a long time and I’m happy i finally did it ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

Luna didn’t wanna take a photo with me (⊙︿⊙✿)

My ootd for today! Just working from home but i have some meetings so I decided to get dressed nicer and put on makeup (⊙△⊙✿)

My best gal memories- Happy Gyaru Day! 10/9

 It’s gyaru day!! I wanted to share my best gal memories (✿◠‿◠)

I truly get a little sappy thinking about it xD I’ve always loved makeup, leopard print, loud colors and bling but also struggled with not fitting in and low self esteem. When I discovered gal I was attracted to the way that gals see the world. They dont get stressed out about things and they strive to have as much fun as possible and make memories with their friends. They don’t care if anyone else likes their outfit or if thinks they are too over the top, they just enjoy life and make the best of it. 

I can really say that being gal has boosted my confidence, but more importantly it led me to meeting one of my best friends ≧◡≦ And now I have friends all over the world! I get to learn so much from them and have the best time sharing inspiration and reading blog posts. 

My absolute best gal memory is the time that Sam and I got to go to an anime con at a water park! It was absolutely insane and amazing. We got super lucky to land a hotel room in the water park a the con was 4 days, so we got to party all weekend! They had enormous drinks that they let you just carry around everywhere xD 

They had this Star Trek setup where they let me hold a tribble xD  

We even got these cute professional photos taken (✿◠‿◠) I felt lime I was in a magazine! 

A few months later we got to go to my local con together, and I got to met RinRin and be in her modeling class 

I like that you can tell how much I’m smiling even with the mask on

Then there was the time that Bryan and my favorite bar down the street from us hosted a tropical night. I won most tropical ★~(◡﹏◕✿) It was also quite the endeavor since we were trying to find the drink in the pineapple all night and drank too much xD 

Bryan actually really likes wearing tropical shirts which is great for when I want to match him hahaha 

An honorable mention goes to my honeymoon where I wore gal all the time!! Of course, gal has been my daily attire for a few years now but this feels iconic since we went to a tropical island hahaha. 

Thanks for looking back at my happiest gal memories with me (✿ ♥‿♥) 

Journal 10/6 boom and life

Things have been difficult for me recently, but I’m hoping it will start to improve soon. I wanted to blog earlier but I just haven’t been feeling up to it, even when I dressed up and took photos. I feel sort of guilty for being sad on here but it helps me to write about my life, and I also kinda want my blog to be as real as possible. Like, I don’t want to be an influencer or a resource, I just want to portray my life the way it is and share my outfits and crafts and thoughts. 

My health is finally starting to get better. I recently left my general doctor because of the way she was speaking to me. I had to do my own research and read medical journals and study nutrition by myself since no one treated me with respect. Turns out I have a vitamin B12 deficiency. I saw it on my blood test results before and got laughed at when I asked if I should be concerned that it was so low. It wasn’t considered severely low so they didn’t care. After finding out about my deficiency I was able to start a supplement and I am feeling much better. My foot pain is still bad but I’m working with my acupuncturist and doing exercises to help and I’m optimistic about it. She’s the only person who I feel like actually understands my situation and hasn’t thrown me out because my pain is difficult to treat. I’m honestly so thankful for her. Anyways I’m not some like health crazed person, I just wanted to share that story because I felt so alone. I hope that if someone who reads this feels the same way that hearing this might give them courage for the future. 

Mentally it’s also been a struggle since the past 2 Octobers were very traumatic for me. Last year I was discriminated against at work, lost my job, and had to start over while still dealing with the trauma of losing my community and job the year before (also in October). So October is just very stressful for my body since it’s conditioned now to expect danger D: The unpaid sick leave helped with my stress which was good. There’s a chance I could get a full time job (I’m on a contract rn) at my current company which would be great since I’d have benefits- sick/vacation time, insurance etc. It isn’t my ideal job, but it would be so good to feel like I have something stable at least. I’m sorta not getting my hopes up because of past experiences, but I do still want it to work out. 

Onto less depressing news .. haha 

I’ve gotten a lot of my energy and strength back, so I was able to get a lot of stuff done that I’ve been neglecting! I even did my nails today ≧◡≦ I really want to get back to sewing and crafting. My surf style boom is so strong xD but sadly a lot of the clothes just aren’t around anymore even on secondhand sites, so I decided to try to make my own. I’m most excited for the t-shirt and custom fabric ideas I have. I really like to paint and a lot of my paintings are tropical flowers, so I want to convert a painting to custom fabric that I can sew with! I also want to try out making custom iron ons with my cricut. I’m not super great at drawing, but I think I can do it if I keep trying! It’s not going to be anything super complicated, just a flower and a (made up by me) brand name. I have a sketch of it, I just need to figure out how to make it look good as an actual t-shirt design. Then I can finally have the wardrobe of my dreams (✿◠‿◠)

I did this palm tree and flower design on my nails based off of a page out of one of my gal mags! I’m impressed that both of my hands turned out well, but I guess I am pretty ambidextrous anyways so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised xD 

I feel really comfortable and “like myself” in tropical 90-2000’s styles. I think it might be my long term boom ≧◡≦ I keep dreaming about how I’d design a store in my dream world haha. It’s not something I actually aspire to, but it’s fun to think about. I’d just love to create a tropical (store) escape from the real world and be surrounded by pretty flowers and designs ♥‿♥ There aren’t many themed experiences left in the world, everything is becoming corporate and warehouse-y. I would love to have a place to go to experience magic again, except my magic is tropical flowers and ego system mags xD 

I really feel more gal and free ever since I stopped pressuring myself to be like anyone else. I’m so happy that I am rediscovering myself again after going through all that shit the past 2 years. I think the path ahead is bright (✿◠‿◠)

Wizarding festival (snake photos)

 Hello! There are photos of snakes and lizards in this post, if you don’t enjoy those animals please skip this post! 

Today Bryan and I went to a local community festival that’s theme is wizards and witches! I really wanted to go last year but I was in the hospital, so I had to wait an entire year. I’m so happy I could go this time! ≧◡≦

 My outfit for the day! I wanted to be a Kogal Slytherin since there was a snake meet and greet. 

My first stop was meeting the snakes! It was mostly children wanting to meet them xD but I can’t pass up a chance to meet an animal! I don’t remember what kind of snake this is, I got too excited about meeting them and forgot to ask questions, lol. I’ve never touched a snake, it was actually really soft which I wasn’t expecting! 

Photos of the other snakes and lizard (?) waiting for their turn to meet new friends (✿◠‿◠) I want to learn more about snakes now!

Next we walked around the vendor area! I loved this possum in a jar lol. I ended up getting some soap bars and a black cat magnet!

Snake and I enjoying pulled pork ♥‿♥

After we ate it was time to see the owls ♥‿♥ I was sad that you couldn’t take pictures close to them, but it makes sense since this owl is so big. The owl rescuer had a lot of interesting information! He said this is the largest type of owl in the world and that it could hunt a coyote by itself :0 

More photos before we headed home! I was so happy to find lash glue without phenoxyethanol, my eyes didn’t hurt at all! 

I got this new hand sanitizer holder at bath and body works last week! It looks like Luna and was perfect for this event (✿◠‿◠)

9/6 Daily journal

 I just had my acupuncture appointment and now I’m going to a cafe with my friend! 

Different make today so that my eyes aren’t irritated with powder so close to the lash line💖

Daily journal 9/4

 Today I was able to try makeup again (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ 

I think I got some eyeshadow into my eye so it kinda hurts lol. I tested the shadow out for a few days without irritation so I think everything is gonna be okay for my eyes!! My rosacea isn’t hurting as badly today but it might take it a little bit to get back to where it was before.

Btw look at these cute stickers and frames I found on line camera, they’re called gal bunny!

Today I’m just working and then going to get groceries and new tennis shoes. My current ones are making my legs hurt so I’m just gonna get something that’s a bit better until I’m done with the intensive acupuncture appointments and then I’ll get something nice for longer term.  

Daily thoughts 9/3

 Today was a difficult day. I try to not be too depressing on my blog but writing helps me a bit. 

I went to acupuncture which hurt more than normal, and I’ve been so anxious since Sunday. I decided to take several days off work to try to focus on healing and lowering my stress level so acupuncture has a better chance of helping me. I’m still terrified that it won’t help and that I’m stuck like this forever. The acupuncturist hasn’t given up on me yet but I’m always worried it’ll happen again since that’s what I’m used to after it happening so many times in the past. I’m really trying to stay positive but I’m so anxious

 (;﹏;)

The time off won’t be paid since I don’t get any benefits. I’m fortunate enough that going without pay will be okay, but it still doesn’t feel great. At least it’ll get me some relief in the short term. 

Long weekend

 I’m so happy that we had a long weekend! 

It wasn’t excatly relaxing but I did have a lot of fun. I’m trying to not stress out too much about work tomorrow because I’ve already triggered my rosacea worrying about it >.< 

On Thursday last week I met my friend at the Asian food hall (✿ ♥‿♥) 

I loved my outfit. I’m trying to wear compression socks more often now since my chronic illness has duly been kicking my ass the past few weeks. I love this belt and necklace, i wear them every change i get xD My dad brought the necklace for me from Hawaii several years ago when he went there on a work trip, so it makes me happy when I wear it!

This is the last time I braved eyeliner xD sadly it made my eyes burn so much so i had to return it (∩︵∩) thank goodness for Sephora’s return policy! My rosacea has been decreasing a ton too, I only edited this photo a little and I’m only wearing a skin tint. I started using a  toner spray for sensitive skin and it’s really made a difference :0 I’ve struggled with mold rosacea since I was a young teen and this is the only real relief I’ve gotten. Usually it just looks bad and doesn’t hurt, but it flared a couple weeks ago and the spray was the only thing that calmed it down. It kinda feels like a sunburn D: so it sucks when it flares. It’s totally burning right now but I’m hoping that’s just temporary ಥ_ಥ 

I need to make a skincare post soon. Usually i really don’t care about skincare because nothing has ever really made a difference, and i just covered it with makeup before my skin started really freaking out a few years ago (or maybe sooner idk). I think it probably got more sensitive when I had a ton of bad shit happen to me just non-stop over the past couple years. Anyways, I can’t really wear thick foundation like i used to, so I just tried this spray on a whim because my skin was burning 24/7 and my friend who works at Sephora recommended it. I seriously have never had such clear skin without spots and redness since I was a kid!! I actually feel confident enough to just wear a skin tint which I never thought I’d achieve, i was just resigned to the idea that my skin would always make me insecure ~(⊕⌢⊕)~ Hopefully whatever made me flush today just goes away tomorrow… bc aesthetics aside, it does actually hurt, lol. I did try some new bronzer and eye concealer today, but it didn’t touch the area that flared at all (sorta my upper/central cheeks??) so I think it’s mostly from stress :( which seems to be a pattern anyways. But i’m just thankful that i am starting to see some improvement and I have more good skin days than bad. 

Once my skin adjusts to my new cleanser, I think I wanna try the serum version of the spray because it’s supposed to work a bit faster for rosacea, so I’m thinking it might be able to calm and flares I have a bit more quickly. I am always so anxious trying new products (which doesn’t help my stress induced rosacea xD) but the facial cleanser I used for a few years got discontinued :| so I had to find a new one. I think maybe I’ll write about it once I have a good routine. I took a before photo to track my progress! I have had such a hard time finding people who write or make videos about rosacea or dry eye and makeup/skincare, so I thought maybe my post could help one of my friends here ^_^ 

… I forgot I have more photos to post and that I only got through Thursday so far xD

 

Ok back on track now… 

Bryan had his first big art market on Saturday! I’m so proud of him ♥╣[-_-]╠♥ 

This was one wall of his booth!

It was a night market, so he painted some lanterns to hang outside! 

The market was fun but also super exhausting. It was like 85-90 Fahrenheit and SUPER humid, so setup was very sweaty. Luckily it didn’t rain until around 8:30, but it was a torrential downpour and we had a tiny river flowing behind the tent since everyone was set up on the road they closed for the market. Despite that, he sold a lot and we are super happy with it!! We did get rained on while we were packing up, but at least we had Sunday and Monday to rest. 

I took a break from helping Bryan at the booth to go and shop (I can’t resist xD) and I got some cute stuff. First I saw a juice stand that I’m totally addicted to now. I truly don’t understand why the juices are so amazing, but I’m a lifelong customer now that i found out they have a storefront a few minutes drive away :0 Then I found a booth that just really made me laugh, so ofc I got a raccoon t-shirt. I wanted one of their art pieces but I didn’t have the budget atm. I also really wanted these mugs, but our kitchen is so small :( We have so many mugs right now xD They said they’d be at more markets in the area though so I’m definitely gonna go back for a print or mugs at some point xD 

Lastly, I found a really cute crochet shop at the end of the market! I got a Minnie Mouse clip and a bunny clip that looks like my melo to me. I also got a help kitty dressed up as Hangydon xD I usually don’t like Hangydon bc of how annoying he is in hello kitty island adventure but tbh the merch of him kinda makes me like him more. I think it’s just that he has a really ugly outfit in the game xD 

Today I went shopping for makeup, and I got several things. I’m hoping now that i’ve isolated the ingredients that are irritating to me that the worst is behind me. It’s annoying but unfortunately it’s a lot of trial and error since everyone’s skin is different, and I don’t have allergic reactions so allergy tests don’t work for it, since it’s my dry eye and rosacea causing the issues. In any case, I’m sensitive to less ingredients than I thought originally which is great. I just overlooked an ingredient that’s common in many products since inci decoder said it was “non irritating” :| except when you google dry eye triggers, it’s literally one of the first thing that comes up. So that kind of annoyed me xD but whatever, I figured it out now at least. I’ll update when I’ve tried everything! 

Now I’m just enjoying a margarita and relaxing before the work week!! (▰˘◡˘▰)